Hospitality Tips as a Busy Orthodox Family
Hospitality can feel overwhelming when you’re a busy mom with a growing family, especially when you have young children, homeschool, and are actively involved in parish life. But Christian hospitality doesn’t require a spotless house, an elaborate meal, or hours of preparation. As an Orthodox Christian family, we can make hospitality a regular part of our lives by simply opening our homes and our hearts to the people God places around us. In this post, I’m sharing the practical systems that have helped me make hospitality sustainable with five children—from my 10-minute cleanup and simple snacks to scheduling regular visits and teaching my children how to welcome others. My hope is to encourage other Orthodox and Christian families to discover the joy of opening their homes and creating a culture of service, warmth, belonging, and love in their own families and parishes.
In this blogpost we will explore:
Different Seasons of Hospitality
Hospitality in a Busy Season
The 10-Minute Cleanup
Including the Children
Schedule Hospitality
Prepare for Your Guest
A Legacy of Hospitality
Scroll to learn more about what hospitality looks like in our family
Hospitality in Different Seasons:
Inviting people into my home, especially as a mom with five children in a very busy growing parish can feel daunting- maybe even impossible! We just recently had our fifth child, so I've had to sort of reevaluate what hospitality looks like in our current season. I see it not as a deterrent, but rather a new challenge. Afterall, my children are getting older, the needs have multipled, and were not getting less busy. All this is true, however, having people over has always been a priority in our marriage. We got married young, and even from those earliest years of marriage, we have always had people over- whether it was our 1 bedroom apartment, or inviting someone out for lunch after coffee hour, we have always prioritized connection with others. Having good friends, close relationships with the people at Church, and becoming a villager (after all, it takes a village to raise a child!). I don’t do this perfectly and it has looked different in every season of life. But somehow, we have always made it happen. Previously it might have meant going out to coffee or lunch, or hosting movie nights, to now hosting one on one chats over tea while the kids play.
We have been on the receiving end of beautiful hospitality and know firsthand how life-changing it is to be included into someone's home and someone's family. I often say we could change the world if we just opened up our homes, and I think there's a lot of truth to that. When I join the Orthodox Church, I received the most precious godparents anyone could ever ask for. Their hearts were so open and welcoming to everybody who is inquiring into the Orthodox Faith and they truly LIVED the faith in action. They would take us out to lunch after Church frequently and try to get to know us, and we always walked away with a cup full of love. I felt an instant connection with them. Once we were received, we were now included in the "God family”. They had several adult God children, and they would host godfamily gatherings. These were some of the most fun events, and I really started to feel a sense of belonging, not only in the church itself, but in the body of Christ. I think back on those times spent in their home with such fondness. They truly are my inspiration in creating our own Church family here in our current parish.
Hospitality in a Busy Season
So as I mentioned, we have quite a busy family, juggling 5 kids and homeschooling on top of that. Our parish is thriving, and has a robust liturgical schedule. My husband is an Orthodox Priest and is often serving the many needs in the parish. Yet hospitality, opening up my home to others, is still something that I prioritize in my week. But this doesn't happen without proper planning and creating systems to sustainably welcome people into your home.
10 Minute Cleanup
As I mentioned, my husband is an Orthodox Priest, and it would not be uncommon for him to call me and let me know that somebody is coming to the house to meet with him. We live 10 minutes from Church. Now that might feel overwhelming to some, but for an extrovert like me, I can handle that. Hospitality is built into our life. So I have attempted to make it so that my home, specifically my living room space, can be easily picked up within 10 minutes. I often keep simple snacks in my pantry like chips and salsa or a sleeve of cookies or I have some fruit on hand that we can cut up and serve. Something is simple as apple slices and peanut butter well signal to the person coming over “Hi, welcome, we were expecting you. We're happy you're here. Please come in” without words. I find that food opens up the heart and especially makes people feel welcome.
Although I have a very type-B personality, with 5 kids, I’ve had to adapt to be much more consistent in my routines. So this is how we make it sustainable and managable in a very lived in house.
Keeping the living room ready
Daily tidying (2x’s a day)
Purging and decluttering
Training the children to clean a zone
A lived-in home is not a barrier to hospitality. We also have habits around tidying up that make this sustainable - like tidying up every day after breakfast (bedrooms, living room, kitchen, den, etc). Before we lean into the day, we clean. I find that we have the most energy in the morning for this, which is why I’ve placed it there. And when I say cleaning up, I really mean tidying up. It’s generally picked up. We work on putting things back in their homes, putting toys and clothes and random misplaced things where they belong, and resetting the pillows and couch blankets. We work together every day (at least 2 times a day) to clean up our living spaces, keep them tidy, and we have to regularly purge and declutter our spaces as to not have too many things to clean up. I also have trained my children so that they are capable of tidying up a room within 10 minutes. It becomes a joyful frenzy when we get this call, “OK everyone it's time to tidy up! Daddy's bringing someone home. Let’s set a timer and see how much we can pick up!”
I don't have extensive cleaning routines in fact if you come over you'll notice that there is dust and that my floorboards are not clean and there's a lot of sticky fingerprints on the windows but generally, we keep it tidy and my standard is "just not gross." Our home is lived in. I have five children, and if you walked it, you could absolutely tell. But I also am not full of pride and I would rather have somebody over in my ‘not perfectly tidy home” than never have the opportunity to serve someone within our 4 walls.
Including the Children
Setting expectations beforehand
Training children over many years
Having children greet guests, offering drinks, taking bags
Allowing children to participate in conversation
Knowing when to give Mom and the guest privacy
Using a movie occasionally when necessary
The reminder that hospitality really can happen with children
Another element I think is important while hosting is to include your children. Because we have hosted often, my children are naturally becoming good at being gracious hosts. I often will coach my children on how they should interact with our guests, practicing things like 1. making eye contact 2. asking if they could assist them by serving them drinks or taking their bag, 3. offering them a seat, and asking them questions. It becomes an extension of our home education, having proper etiquette for hosting. My oldest daughters are quite good at this now. Often hosting their own tea parties for friends. My hope is that I am not only welcoming somebody into my home, but preparing the future generations to continue with this legacy.
I find that it helps to speak about your plans and expectations of your children's behavior before somebody comes over. This of course takes many years of training and practice, but the hope is that when somebody comes over, you can include your children in this ministry. I usually include my children in some parts of hosting, and allow them to join the conversation, especially in the beginning, but if I feel that there's a more private conversation that's needed with the person who's come, I will dismiss my children and remind them that we need to have time to chat. Sometimes I'll even put on a movie for my kids, which is a little out of the ordinary for them during the week, just so that I can have some focus time to talk to the friend who's come over. But it certainly possible to host with children.
Schedule Hospitality
This may seem obvious, but typically hospitality doesn’t happen without planning. So how do you build in hospitality into your life as a busy person? Well, you schedule it! We will cover:
Choosing one day/time each week
Leaving a two-hour opening
Praying about whom to invite
Trusting the Lord to show you
Texting or speaking to the person
Setting a beginning and ending time
Protecting your family rhythms
In this current season, I set aside one afternoon a week and leave that spot open for the Lord to do his work. So let's say, for example Wednesday afternoon is my day. I have a two hour time slot open for somebody to come and visit me, into my home. Before planning, I will say a prayer and ask the Lord to show me the person I should invite over that week or in the weeks following. And He has never failed me. He always gives me the person that I ought to invite. They will come to mind, a few times, and I’ll realize this is the person I should invite over! The next time I see them, I will see if we can find a time to have them over, or I’ll send them a text asking if they would be available to come to my house and we arrange a time. I typically will offer both a beginning time and an ending time just simple because my time is limited, but I do want to ensure I’m not superseding the needs of my family. I also feel that having a start and end time helps people not feel like they are imposing, but rather they have stayed as long as was comfortable and appropriate. It helps having a clear expectation for everyone! There’s nothing worse than visting someone and wondering if you overstayed your welcome. I never want someone to feel that way at my house, and this little hack has helped a lot.
Prepare for Your Guest
Once it's scheduled, we orient our day around having somebody over. It’s on the family calendar too so my children also know what to expect.
Typically we will bake some sort of treat, or have something on our grocery list in mind that week to welcome our guests. This is a great opportunity to involve your kids. Have them choose a simple dessert they’d like to make. My girls are old enough to make dishes on their own, so I usually give them free reign. Before our guests arrival, we set out the tea items in our living room table. Over the years, we have collected a lot of lovely thrifted dishes. Just recently, a parishioner gifted us an entire collection of cups and matching plates, which feels like such a gift! I like to light a candle when someone comes over, especially in our prayer corner. Candles have a way of elevating the space. We talk over expectations for my children’s behavior and speak about some etiquette we can work on (making eye contact when you speak, saying “hello, welcome, come on it” and opening the door, asking if they’d like a drink, or if you can take their bag.) Just little ways they can help someone feel welcome in our home. I keep things VERY simple. Pancakes, cookies and tea, fruit, hummus and veggies.
In summary:
Baking a treat
Setting out tea
Anticipating the guest
Coaching the children
Practicing hospitality etiquette
Preparing the next generation
My oldest daughters are quite good at this now. They have been practicing alongside me for years now. I have slowly been relegated the “hosting” tasks like setting the table and baking treats to them. They are knowing for hosting their own tea parties for friends too. Every birthday, name day, and feast day, it is now their job to decorate the table. It fills me with so much joy to see how capable they are, and they are also very proud of their own contribution. My hope is that I am not only welcoming somebody into my home, but preparing the future generations to continue with this legacy. Afterall, when we welcome a guest, we should remember that we are welcoming Christ Himself into our midst. Let’s not miss the opportunity to love Christ in our homes.
Watch our latest episode from Patristic Nectar Family YouTube Channel:
Hospitality of Abraham Icon
In this video, I’m simply sharing a few practical hosting tips that have helped our family welcome others while raising little ones. Much of our inspiration comes from the quiet, generous hospitality found in Orthodox monasteries, where the focus isn’t on impressing guests, but on serving them with love. My hope is that these simple ideas encourage you to embrace hospitality with joy, wherever you find yourself in this season of life.
One of my favorite icons to display in my home is the hospitality of Abraham.
A few years ago, I came across this quote by St John Chrysostom, and it has completely changed my perspective on what it means to offer hospitality.
In every believer and brother, though they be least of all, Christ comes to you. Open your house, take them in. “Whoever receives a prophet, shall receive a prophet’s reward.”... These are the qualities that ought to be in those who welcome strangers: readiness, cheerfulness, liberality. For strangers feel abashed and ashamed, and unless their host shows real joy, they feel slighted and go away, and their being received in this way makes it worse than not to have received them.
Therefore set aside a room in your house to which Christ may come; say, “This is Christ’s room; this is set apart for him.” Even if it is very simple, he will not disdain it. Christ goes about “naked and a stranger”; he needs shelter: do not hesitate to give it to him.
Do not be lacking in compassion or be inhuman. You are earnest in worldly matters, do not be cold in spiritual matters.... You have a place set apart for your wagon, but none for Christ who is wandering by? Abraham received strangers in his own home (Gn 18); his wife took the place of a servant, the guests the place of masters. They did not know that they were receiving Christ, that they were receiving angels.
If Abraham had known it, he would have lavished his whole substance. But we, who know that we receive Christ, do not show as much zeal as he did, who thought that he was receiving mere men.
— St John Chrysostom (Homily 45 on the Acts of the Apostles)
Keep in Mind:
Hospitality isn’t about entertaining, it’s about making room in our lives for other people. Start small, be faithful, and trust that God will bless even the simplest offering of love. Here’s a few tips I’ve learned over the years.
Welcome people into your real life - I always say that a slightly messy (lived-in) house makes people feel as ease. Don’t we all have lived-in houses? Don’t wait until the house is spotless or everything feels “ready.” Some of the most wonderful moments of hospitality have happened mid-day when the house is a mess, and someone stopped by and they were welcomed with open arms. A lived-in home filled with peace and genuine love is far more inviting than a perfect house where everyone is stressed.
Pray before your guests arrive - Take a few moments as a family to ask Christ to bless your home, your conversation, and each person who walks through your door. Hospitality becomes more meaningful when we remember we are welcoming others for His sake. Invite Christ into your home through prayer and hospitality.
Let your children help - Give each child a small role: setting the table, greeting guests at the door, offer a drink, or clearing dishes. I also prep my children beforehand on how I expect them to act and interact with the guests and give them a chance to be apart of the conversation. Hospitality is a virtue they’re learning alongside you.
Put it on the calendar - If we wait until life feels less busy, we’ll probably never invite anyone over. Choose one evening each month (or whatever is realistic for your family) and make hospitality part of your family’s rhythm.
Keep it simple - Hospitality isn’t about putting on a perfect evening. Food opens the heart, but it doesn’t mean you have to be a gourmet chef in order to host. Serve soup and bread, order pizza, pick up a pre-cooked meal from Costco, or make tea and cookies in the afternoon. Your guests will remember the conversation and how they felt in your home far longer than the menu.
Creating a life-giving home:
Sally Clarkson wrote an amazing book “The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming” which is written as a guide to transforming your home into a nurturing haven where family traditions, memories, and spiritual growth flourish. I highly recommend this book to anyone hoping to prioritize hospitality in their homes!
One of my biggest take-aways from this book is creating a life giving home is valuable, not only for the visitors you may welcome, but also for the family that live there. Creating a space that everyone feels comfortable, cozy, loved and welcomed is so life-giving, and creates a safe haven in the midst of a tumultuous world. Christian homes out to be sanctuaries for everyone who dwells there, not only the guests who arrive. Proverbs 14:1 says “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” This idea of building our house is creating a dwelling place suited for everyone in it. Cultivating a prayerful space, that feels cozy for your family, and by extension, including others to feel cozy too! We are intentionally creating a space of belonging. This is no small matter. It’s not about how extravegant your decorations are, or how newly renovated your kitchen is. Do you have the heart to be creative? To Enjoy life? To serve other people? With this, you’ll be off to a great start in creating a life giving home.
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