What is an Ascetic Life of Motherhood?

You might be wondering, “What exactly is Ascetic life of Motherhood?” What does that mean exactly? Good question! I’m happy to explain! An ascetic life is one characterized by a rigorous life of prayer and repentance. The word "ascetic" comes from the Greek root ἀσκητικός, meaning "I train." In the Scriptures, St Paul encourages self-discipline and likens the connection between the Christian life of prayer and repentance to an athlete training for an event (1 Cor. 9:24-27). As St Paul says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Tim. 4:7). It is the practice of self-denial (i.e. control of one's passions and base impulses) for the sake of the Kingdom. By denying ourselves, and by sincerely seeking to please God with everything we do, we find that we are able to fight those passions within us that keep us from God.

So why the name? Back in 2016, I started an instagram account (@AsceticLifeofMotherhood) a few months after my oldest was born. My hope was to create a space to share my journey into motherhood. Growing up, all I had ever dreamed of is being a mother and raising children! I dreamed of a big family and a loving household. Flash forward to the birth of my oldest, I felt completely lost in my new identity as a mother. I questioned everything. I wasn’t sure I was actually suited for the task. I expected it to come naturally, and it didn’t. At least not right away.

I was given a book called, The Ascetic Lives of Mothers by Annalisa Boyd which is a prayer book specifically for mothers. It all clicked. Mothers often find themselves in situations that require their complete devotion, self-denial, daily emotional exercises, facing extreme challenges, and so much prayer. Slowly, I started to realize that motherhood wasn’t just having a baby to love. It was a whole new way of life, one devoted to the service of others. I began to accept that being a mother was a form of asceticism.

I finally knew the answer to why motherhood was so hard. If we allow it, motherhood becomes a refining process for us. Motherhood is naturally ascetic. We deny ourselves for the sake of our children. All of those struggles are for our good. We have the opportunity to become less selfish, to humble oursleves, and to live our life glorifying God. Thus, the account name Ascetic Life of Motherhood was born.

I’ll leave you with one final quote from St John Chrysostom that perfectly summarizes the ascetic life:

“You greatly delude yourself and err, if you think that one thing is demanded from the layman and another from the monk; since the difference between them is that whether one is married or not, while in everything else they have the same responsibilities... because all must rise to the same height; and what has turned the world upside down is that we think only the monk must live rigorously, while the rest are allowed to live a life of indolence. ”

— St John Chrysostom