For When Your Child is Sick
“Sickness is often called God’s visitation: the body is sick but the soul receives healing… How important it is for a child to enter spiritual life! Then, everything will be different: even high temperatures will not cause him so much trouble. And specific physical difficulties will be endured in a different way.”
As a mother of 3 small children, sickness comes up every now and then. In some seasons more than others. I remember the first time my oldest daughter caught her first cold. I remember feeling so helpless and didn’t know the best way to help my infant baby girl. There was a little booklet at our Church bookstore titled “Canon to the Lord for a Sick Child” by St Paisius Orthodox Monastery that I picked up that next week, feeling unprepared for how to handle sickness with a Christian perspective. After reading the introduction, I was completely blown away! It has changed my perspective of how we ought to approach sickness, particularly sickness of children, in the home.
The Spiritual Life of the Family
First, I want to share an excerpt from When Children are Ill: Counsels of an Orthodox Pediatrician by Father Aleksey Grachev which is in the introduction of the Canon to the Lord for a Sick Child:
“It is very good if there are many children in the family; and if so, they will each have a keen awareness of the sickness of one of the brothers or sisters. Both for them as well as for the sick one presents numerous lessons. The other children should take part in caring for their sick brother or sister; bringing him drinks, or wash the dishes and cups after him. Parents should let the other children know this is a special time for the family, and that this event should affect everyone spiritually. The whole family should live prayerfully, with no place for indifference towards the one suffering. For example, if one child is sick, there should not be others in a nearby room making joyful and happy noises. It is good when the other children take it upon themselves to do the household chores of their brother or sister who is sick. Usually this is easily accepted: our sister is sick, so we will also do her share of the housework today.
Then the other children also begin to live more compassionately, begin to talk more quietly; and every morning they come to their sick brother or sister and ask “How are you?” They themselves begin to feel responsible for the other. And what is more important, children begin to pray for their brother or sister. At the time of evening prayers, after their regular prayers they might read a special prayer of recovery of the sick one. This is the way to create a real family as one unity, as one soul, as a small church.
Then sickness becomes not just something unpleasant but a spiritual school for everyone, a visitation from God that affects all members of the family. The sick one becomes bedridden, the others are taught compassion, humility and love. This is a school both of mutual nurturing and of mutual compliance. Here is everything. This is an entire cosmos, and people begin to change in it. Each one gains some benefit: the parents, by providing good spiritual and physical conditions for the child; the other children, by gaining skill in caring for another person with compassion, and learning to subdue some of their own desires in light of what is happening in the family; the sick one, by learning to submit his physical body to the spiritual, by the need to pray.
And, of course, after the child recovers it is necessary to give thanks to God. Children in the family will then understand that God sends sickness and sends recovery, and that the great mercy of God is in it all.”
-Excerpt from When Children are Ill: Counsels of an Orthodox Pediatrician by Father Aleksey Grachev (section: The Spiritual Life of the family)
Practical Ways to Spiritually Care for a Sick Child
There are many ways to care for a child spiritually while also caring for their physical well being. In this Canon introduction, as I mentioned above, there are suggestions given, which I will publish here as I think they are good and useful for parents and caretakers. He goes into great length for all of these suggestions, which you can read directly in the Canon to the Lord for a Sick Child Booklet.
“All activities of those involved in the healing of a child- the doctor as well as the parents - should be directed in descending order: from the spiritual to the mental and then to the body. Thus when a child get sick, the very first thing to do is to pray. ”
Here are some suggestions from Fr Aleksey on how to care for your sick child:
When a child gets sick, the very first thing to do is to pray.
It is important for the sick child to receive Holy Communion, so as to lay a good foundation for the medical treatment.
Submit the name of the sick child to be commemorated at Holy Liturgy.
Prosphora from church should be taken home and eaten daily along with Holy Water.
Holy water can be given at any time of day. The child’s head, face, body and eyes may be sprinkled. Drink it, and anoint them with it.
Place an icon near where the child sleeps. It should be placed closer to the bed of the child so that when he is lying there he can see it.
Light a lampada (oil lamp). When the parents enter the room, it is good if they bless their son or daughter, especially for the night.
Place a cross nearby so the child can kiss it, and the child should wear their baptismal cross always so they can kiss that as well.
We should bless with the sign of the cross any medicine that we give to a child. Let all things we do be blessed.
Read spiritual books to your child at this time, especially the Gospels. Read the lives of the saints as well.
In serious cases, request a priest pray a moleben service to be served for the health of the sick child
Prayer for a Sick Child
O Lord Jesus Christ, Thou didst come into this world as a little child, and although True God, Thou didst live in obedience to Thine earthly parents. Grant that Thy child [name] cheerfully bear the burden that has been laid upon him (her), and that he (she) be obedient to those responsible for him (her) by Thy Providence. We pray Thee, look mercifully upon him (her), and in Thy immeasurable love ease his (her) sufferings. O Lord our God, send Thy holy Angel to heal him (her) so that he (she) would attain to the fullness of life, and serve Thee with faith and thanksgiving in his (her) heart. Grant him (her), O Lord, to be an heir of Thy Heavenly Kingdom, for Thou, O Christ our God, art the Physician of souls and bodies and to Thee, with the Father and the Holy Spirit, do we ascribe glory, now and ever and to the ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer of Thanksgiving for Healing
O Lord, Jesus Christ, the Life and Strength of all who place their trust in Thee, Whose mercies are without number, and Whose treasury of goodness is without measure. We give thanks to Thee for the blessings which Thou hast bestowed upon Thy servant (handmaiden) [name], and we humbly beseech Thee to continue in Thy goodness towards us. And as Thou hast been well-pleased to restore Thy servant (handmaiden) to his (her) bodily health, so Thou prepare him (her) soul with heavenly grace and preserve him (her) in good works. Do Thou prepare us all, by Thy blessings in this life, for the enjoyment of eternal good things in the life to come. For unto Thee is due all glory, thanksgiving and worship, with Thine unoriginate Father, and Thine all-holy and good and life-creating Spirit, now and ever and to the ages of ages. Amen.
“Illness motivates us to heighten our spiritual life.”
Where Can I get a Copy of the Canon to the Lord for a Sick Child?
This prayer booklet, in my opinion, is essential for every household and it costs less than $5! You can buy it directly from the Monastery that publishes it St Paisius Monastery Online Store or you can find it through several other Orthodox Shops online by simply searching “Canon to the Lord for a Sick Child”. This deeply moving canon of prayer eloquently expresses the heart-felt anguish of any parent in need of praying for a sick child. Includes a full introduction of insightful counsels by an Orthodox Priest-Pediatrician, and the following prayers at the end: Prayer for a Sick Child, Prayer for a Child Suffering Great Pain, Prayer of Thanksgiving for Healing. Total of 36 pages. A must have for any household!
One Final Note
Sick days with small children can be particularly difficult. I have great compassion for parents caring for sick children, especially when they themselves are not well. But somehow this shift in thinking about sickness from a Christian perspective, or as a ‘spiritual school’ as Father Aleksey refers to it as, has helped lift some of the burdens laid upon me as a mother caring for a sick child. I have the opportunity now to see my child’s illness as a chance to slow down, focus on prayerful living, and relying on the tender mercy of our Lord to heal them. With that perspective, there is much more peace in our home. I certainly don’t do everything perfectly when my kids are sick, and there are times when resentment feelings start creeping in or feelings of anger and frustration from the many “inconveniences” it will cause me. Or the tidal wave of everyone in the family subsequently being sick can overwhelm me at times. We fall down often, but we should pick ourselves up quickly and return to enduring our sufferings with Christian patience. I truly believe that if we invite Christ into our suffering, he covers us with his Grace in such a tangible way that we are better off because of the sickness than we were without it.
Good strength and God bless you!
-Khouria Destinie
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